Copyright © All Saints Memorial Episcopal Church

Proper 17 C

Tuesdays are library story hour days for William and me.  We load into the car and head for McKinley library, where the Children’s Librarian reads books, sings songs, and provides a craft, just for little people William’s age.  It’s lots of fun.  

Each week the librarian chooses a theme for the books she reads.  Once it was ducks.  Once it was trains and other things that go (William really liked that).  This past Tuesday it was feelings.  

The first book was about a bird who woke up grumpy, and what happened that day.  The bird said he was too grumpy to fly, so he started to walk.  One by one the various other animals in the forest joined him, walking along with him in spite of his grumpiness.  The bird decided to stop--and all the other animals stopped also.  Then the bird stood on one leg--so did all the other animals.  Pretty soon the bird was enjoying his game of follow-the-leader so much that he forgot to be grumpy, and then they all went back to his nest to have a snack.

The second book was similar in some ways.  It was about a girl named Sophie and what happened when she got really really angry.  She went outside and ran as fast as she could, then when she was tired she started walking, then she sat somewhere and cried.  After awhile she started walking again, looking at all the things around her--trees, flowers, grass, birds, bugs.  She climbed a tree and felt it move as the wind blew.  After awhile she climbed back down and went home, and she wasn’t angry any more.

Sophie and the bird both started out focused on themselves.  “I’m grumpy.” “I’m angry.”  But after awhile, in one case through other forest animals, in the other through looking at the natural world around her, both were able to change that focus, to become more open to things outside themselves, to see themselves in the context of the world around them, not just in the context of their own feelings and experience.

It’s a nice lesson for toddlers, isn’t it?  And anyone who has spent much time around a toddler knows that one of the ways you can try to derail a tantrum or a grumpy mood is to distract.  But as someone reminded me this week, lots of times even big people act like toddlers.  Even big people can get into a “I’m grumpy” or a “I’m really really angry” and lose perspective, becoming as self-centered as any two-year-old, or Sophie, or bird.  

As a matter of fact, sometimes big people don’t even need to get into a “grumpy” or a “really really angry” to become self-centered.  Sometimes for big people being self-centered is a general way of being,

Entering a room, for example, and deciding where to sit--”I should sit over there, with the important people, not down here with the rabble.”  Or deciding who to invite to your next dinner party--”if I invite these people, maybe I’ll be able to start moving in their circle, which is where the movers and shakers are.  I certainly won’t invite those other folks--they aren’t going anywhere and they won’t get me anywhere either.”  

Jesus had a few words to say at the dinner party he went to, where he saw many, both guests and host, behaving in self-centered ways.  I can imagine him saying: “get out of yourself.  You may think you’re the greatest person to walk through that door, but you probably aren’t.  Don’t set yourself up to be knocked down.”  And then to the host:  “remember the real meaning of hospitality.  Invite people who aren’t going to be able to invite you back, or who aren’t going to move you forward socially.  The real blessing in giving is in giving without the underlying idea of an exchange.”

Paul had a few words to say, too about getting out of oneself.  About loving each other, about showing hospitality to strangers, about remembering those who are in prison or other hardships as though you yourself were in prison or hardship with them.  About being content with what you have.  

Even our cranky friend, the author of Ecclesiasticus addressed this topic, although maybe a little backwards.  He reminds us that: “the beginning of human pride is to forsake the Lord.”  In other words, when we forget to look to God, and instead look to ourselves, we start to get in trouble.  And of course, in the book of Ecclesiasticus, that trouble is dire indeed.  But then he concludes:  “Pride was not created for human beings, or violent anger for those born of women.”  

Pride and violent anger--the author of Ecclesiasticus tells us that these things aren’t in our true nature, although they certainly inhabit us often enough.  Our true nature is to live with God as our center, not with ourselves as our center.  

But how do we get there?  How do we realign ourselves to keep God as our center?  And how do we do it over and over and over again, because we will invariably lose our way and find ourselves being self-centered, thinking of our own honor or position, our own importance, our own grumpiness or our own anger.  

How?  Well, for a grumpy bird and a really really angry Sophie, taking a walk was the first step.  And it’s not a bad one--I’ve done something similar at grumpy or angry times myself.  But it’s hot.  Who wants to take a walk, except for at about four in the morning.  And who wants to take a walk then?  What else is there?

The answer is:  anything that can get you out of yourself.  Doing almost anything, and really, really doing it, really participating in it, gets us out of ourselves.  For grumpy bird, it involved being with others.  As soon as he started playing with the other forest creatures, he got out of himself and forgot to be grumpy.  For really angry Sophie, it involved being alone.  She worked off some energy first, and then she sat and contemplated what was around her.  Her anger dissipated as she lost herself in what she was seeing.  

And once we get those first steps taken, to move ourselves out of our center, how do we put God in our center?  Well, one way might be by deliberately doing something that reminds us of God.  Whether we feel like it or not.  Maybe this is coming to church.  Maybe it’s praying alone.  Maybe it’s listening to sacred music, or saying a rosary, or visiting someone who could use some company, or reading the Bible or other spiritual or religious writing, or . . . you fill in the blank.  

The key is probably in the determination to do it even if we don’t feel particularly inspired to at that moment.  Doing it anyway, whatever it is, gives God the opportunity to break in and find our center, and negotiate for space with whatever is already there.

So--grumpy bird, angry Sophie, tantrum-throwing toddler, self-centered little person or self-centered big person, let’s get out of our own way.  Pride, also known as self-centeredness, is not part of our true nature.  As we become more centered on God, we become more true to ourselves, and more the people that God created us to be.